I remember I used to hang out with this prick called Edward back when I was maybe 21 or 22. He had this santimonious sort of way of constantly saying how he was faithful to his boyfriend even just so he could mention how some guy had been flirting with him. But then he threw his monogamy away when once propositioned at his gym’s sauna because the guy was some minor celebrity. Because somehow the points scored by shagging a famous person was worth more than what he earned for being a good boyfriend.
And I remember once we were hanging out at my place, playing piano, and between songs he stared at me for a bit and said “you know, I can tell that you’re not going to age well”. What the fuck?! I think he was trying to encourage me to take better advantage of my looks while I still had them, rather than being the shy, self-hating guy that I was. I don’t know, but it was a dickish way to compliment someone.
I look at a guy like Marko K., who we shot for the Lviv issue of Elska, and I wonder how he will age. I’m useless at visualisation like this. But if I think of people I knew when I was a teenager and look at them now, they all pretty much look the same. Maybe they got heavier, took on more lines, lost some hair, or whatever, but they still look like the same people. If they were beautiful then, they are beautiful now, but just in a slightly different package. I do believe this… about others, but not myself. Blame Edward perhaps, though I’m sure it’s just my fault for being too sensitive. In any case, they say we should love ourselves first, but how do we do that when others put us down? All I can do is try not to put others down, to show them the love that they may lack within and encourage that love to grow, or at least not contribute to tearing it down.
To see more of Marko K., pick up Elska Magazine Issue (01) from select shops worldwide, or order online at www.elskamagazine.com.
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