When I first looked at the photos from the Marc Y session for our Berlin issue, I felt a sense of loneliness. I also felt an urge to go into the page and give the boy a hug, or at least wrap a warm blanket around him. I’m not sure if my instinct to console is normal or common, but if I try to analyse my history of attraction, I tend to be drawn to those who I deem to be in need. I suppose I get off on being wanted. I also enjoy being lusted after (which makes me feel at ease) more than lusting (which makes me neurotic). And I actually prefer a clingy moves-too-fast guy than one who plays hard-to-get.
I’m sure this is quite a terrible thing to admit, but when I was at uni there was this deaf boy I was mad for. He worked at the HMV on High Street Birmingham and I would go in there pretending to browse with the hopes of seeing him. But whenever we met we had little to talk about. Sure, he was cute but he was also quite dim and we had nothing in common.
Someone suggested that my attraction to him was because he was looks-wise out of my league, but his deafness lowered him from a 9 to a 6 and thus made him attainable for me. A dreadful concept, and I’m thankfully sure it’s not true (at that time our looks rankings would have been roughly similar). Incidentally I also find boys with glasses and hearing aids super hot. Nerd fetish I propose rather than some ‘disability’ fetish.
I’m also drawn to people who are a bit sombre, pouty, relaxed; boisterousness is a big turn-off. A gregarious life-of-the-party type is my nightmare. As I write this I realise that I’m the very sort of person that I’m drawn to. I’m quiet, thoughtful and smile only when it’s sincere. And I’m also someone who could do with a hug, a warm blanket, and someone to kiss it better.
To see the rest of Marc Y’s pics, check out Elska Magazine Issue (02) Berlin and also Marc’s dedicated Elska Ekstra e-zine, both available via www.elskamagazine.com